


So Hold My Hand I'll Walk With You My Dear

by BetsyByron



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Gabrielle Haller - Freeform, M/M, Parenthood, Past Abuse, Past Character Death, Past Underage Sex, Single Parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-11 00:15:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5606353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BetsyByron/pseuds/BetsyByron
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charles is Erik's student, and asks if he can bring his son to class.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Hold My Hand I'll Walk With You My Dear

**Author's Note:**

> So, it's been a while since I posted anything! I don't write as much, and when I do, I don't reach any ending...  
> But I hope you enjoy this little thing!

Erik was not surprised when Charles Xavier stayed back to talk to him after class. Xavier was a very smart kid, always giving a hundred percent of his energy to the course, raising his hand several times every class to ask thought-out and relevant questions. Knowing what he’d heard from his other colleagues within the university, he assumed the all-round star student wanted to ask him about extra credit, or maybe bounce back on Erik’s answer to his latest question, which he hadn’t seemed entirely satisfied with.

He didn’t expect him to look nervous. Charles had always been very confident about voicing his opinions and defending his position in any debate. He had talked to Erik – and probably to all his professors – outside of class before, sometimes being as bold as making suggestions on possible improvements to the lecture, or on resources to be looked into. He had never been coy about it.

“How can I help you?” Erik asked amenably, trying not to make the young man feel more uncomfortable than he clearly already was.

Charles stopped fidgeting when Erik addressed him, and readjusted the pile of books in his arms as if it was a way to steel himself.

“I wanted to ask you if it was possible to… I’ve had a change in my personal situation.” He explained concisely. “So far I could make it work with my studies, but…”

“You’re not dropping out?” Erik interrupted him, and realized it sounded almost more like an order than an expression of concern. Charles was brilliant, probably the most intelligent student he had ever had. He had high hopes for him.

“No.” Charles had a little frown. “Not if I can help it. Which is why I am going around my professors asking – well, you’re the first I’ve asked, but all the same.” He cleared his throat. “Would it be entirely unthinkable to bring my son to class?”

Erik caught himself being surprised by the idea that Charles could be a father, but another voice in his head told him off; Charles was twenty-one, which was old enough to have a child, and what did Erik know about his private life. Nobody else but Charles was entitled to it.

“I don’t have anyone to watch him during the school holidays.” Charles added when Erik didn’t say anything for a little while, occupied with his thoughts. “And I can’t afford a nanny.”

“Of course.” Erik said. He wasn’t particularly thrilled at the idea of having a baby in his class, as they weren’t known to keep still and quiet for hours on end, but he would be damned if he prevented Charles, or any student for that matter, from getting an education because of something like childcare issues.

“He’s a nice kid.” Charles said, a smile blooming on his face. “And I’ll get him out if he starts being restless. Thank you so much, Mr Lehnsherr.”

 

 

While Erik had been a little curious about Charles personal situation (catching himself wondering, on several separate occasions over the weekend, if he was living with the mother of his child, if they had been in a committed relationship for a long time, if the pregnancy was planned at all), he was downright shocked when the child Charles showed up with that Monday was not at all a toddler, as Erik had expected, but a miniature Charles of at least six or seven years old. The other students were eyeing them with curiosity, and the little boy was answering the occasional question about his name and how school was and other mundanities, but nobody seemed to be doing the math – or wasn’t it shocking that Charles had to have become a father at no more than fifteen to have a child this grown-up?

When the boy saw him, he all but ran up to him.

“Professor Lehnsherr.” He said very solemnly. “My name is David Xavier. Thank you very much for letting me watch the class.”

“It’s… not a problem.” Erik answered, a little taken aback.

Charles caught up with his son, putting a hand on his shoulder with a small smile.

“Don’t overdo it, love.” He said amusedly as David was opening his mouth again.

David wavered at that. “I just wanted to promise I’ll be quiet. I have….” He started fumbling with the books and pencil-case in his arms, wanting to show he could keep himself busy.

“I’m sure you’ll be the perfect student.” Erik smiled at him.

David nodded enthusiastically, and Erik ushered him and the rest of his class into the room.

Three hours later, he hadn’t heard a peep from David, apart from the occasional whispers exchanged with Charles – it looked all parts like he was asking questions about elements of the lecture he didn’t understand. Charles was his usual self, even entering into a five-minute argument with Erik at one point because he didn’t agree with a demonstration he’d just made.

At the end of the class, Charles remained seated for a few minutes while David finished colouring a diagram he had copied from Erik’s slideshow, and the room had emptied by the time they both put all their things away. Erik waited, intending on complementing David on his behaviour, but the child spoke first when they came closer.

“How do you become an engineer?” He asked determinedly.

“Well.” Erik chuckled. “Taking my class is a good way to start, so you’re on the right track. Is that something you want to do?”

“It was very interesting.” David said. “I liked the part about bridges.”

“You’ve been very attentive, at any rate.” Erik complimented him.

David turned to Charles with a triumphant smile, and Charles ruffled his hair with a little laugh.

“Top grades.” He said. “Can you go wait outside for a minute, love?” He asked then. “I have a few more questions for Mr Lehnsherr, I won’t be long.”

“Sure.” David complied, slipping out of the room.

Charles turned back to Erik, his face more serious.

“Thank you again.” He said.

“It’s really no problem.” Erik nodded. “I was expecting a… younger child.” He confessed.

Charles winced. “It’s a long story.”

“And none of my business.” Erik added gently. After a pause, during which Charles was looking at his shoes, Erik continued: “You need to bring him for the rest of the week, right?”

“If that’s okay.” Charles said, looking nervous again.

“As long as it’s a good solution for you.” Erik offered. “You can bring him whenever you need.”

“Thank you.” Charles said once more, smiling warmly. “I’m glad you’re being understanding, this is by far my favourite class, I’d be sorry to miss it.”

“I’d be sorry if you missed it too.” Erik acknowledged. With an afterthought, he frowned: “Have the other professors not agreed to let David sit in?”

“Oh, no, they have.” Charles informed him. “Well.” He added with another grimace. “All but Mr Shaw.”

Erik gritted his teeth. “How surprising.”

Sebastian Shaw was, to say the least, not his favourite colleague.

“It’s okay.” Charles shrugged. “He creeps me out anyway, so I wouldn’t want to expose David to him. I never did actually ask him, he marched up to me himself because he’d heard I’d been going around asking the other teachers, and let me know there was no way he’d play this game.”

“Considerate as always.” Erik sighed.

They walked out together, where David was waiting quietly, going over the notes he’d taken. Erik wasn’t sure what sense he could make of them, or even what percentage of the actual meaning of the class he’d picked up, but it was sweet at any rate.

 

 

Throughout the week, Charles kept attending all his classes with David, except Shaw’s, but by then he had found about twenty volunteers willing to keep an eye on his son for a few hours, and David spent his morning in the library with a group of engineering students while Charles was off learning about Energy and whatnot.

Everything went perfectly well – Erik’s colleagues all taken by this clever little boy sitting quietly in their lectures and renewably impressed by Charles’ hard work considering his personal situation – until Thursday right after lunch.

Erik heard the scream from his office down the corridor, followed by some commotion coming from the classroom at the far end. He came out to see what was going on, and was greeted with the sight of Charles rushing out, carrying David who was clinging to his neck and shaking like a leaf.

“Everyone back to your seat.” Erik heard Howlett’s gruff voice from within the classroom. “It’s not a show, give them some space.”

The door closed as Charles was sitting David carefully on the stairs, taking his wrists.

“Breathe, baby.” He told him softly, although his tone betrayed the panic he was going through, mirroring his son’s. “I’m right here with you, okay? I’m right here. Just breathe.”

Erik grabbed a bottle of water on his desk and walked up to them, keeping a respectful distance while coming close enough to make his presence known. He held out the water to Charles when he looked up to him.

“Hug him.” He advised. “It’ll help him feel safe.”

He knew a panic attack when he saw one, and apparently Charles had an idea what he was dealing with as well, because he only gave Erik a short nod before taking David into his arms and holding him tight. With his face pressed against Charles jumper, the boy’s gasping sobs subsided until he was only breathing a little too rapidly. Charles took the water from Erik and drew back a little, wiping the hair out of David damp face.

“Here.” He said tenderly, giving him the bottle. “Are you feeling better?”

“Yes.” David sniffed, and he drunk a few gulps, hands still trembling slightly. “There was a bang.”

“I know, love.” Charles kept talking quietly, petting the boy’s hair. “It scared me too.”

“Is Mr Howlett going to be upset?” He looked down.

Charles kissed his forehead. “No, baby. He’ll understand. And I’m not upset either.” He have him another brief hug, and added: “Do you want to go home?”

“You still have classes.” David answered, although it was clear he didn’t want to go back from the way his voice wavered and he edged back unconsciously.

“Hey.” Erik intervened, crouching so his face was at a level with David’s. “Do you know chess?”

“Yes?” David sounded uncertain, and Erik could see Charles squeeze his shoulder.

“My office is just down the hall.” Erik said, this time looking from the son to the father – he wasn’t going to take David off Charles’ hands without his permission. “And I don’t have another class until 4pm. Do you want to play a game with me until Mr Howlett’s workshop is finished?”

David looked at Charles, who gave him a smile.

“It sounds like a good idea.” He said gently. “Would you like that?”

David nodded shyly. Charles got to his feet, David following in his lead, and gave Erik the most grateful look he had seen in his life.

“Are you sure this doesn’t bother you?” He asked in a low voice.

“Of course not.” Erik assured. “Go to your workshop, those are important.”

Charles gave him a strange look, and Erik put a hand on his shoulder – he didn’t quite dare touch David, unsure how the little boy would react.

“I know, your son is more important.” Erik added. “But I’ll take care of him for now, if you’ll let me.”

Charles had a small smile. “Thank you.” He turned back to David, and bent to kiss his cheek. “I’ll see you in an hour or so. You come get me if there’s anything, okay?”

“Okay.” David said.

“Remember what I taught you with the Queen.” Charles added more lightly.

When they parted as Charles slipped back into Logan’s class, Erik bounced back on that last comment, happy to have a starting point for a conversation with the child.

“Did your dad teach you how to play chess?”

“Yes.” David confirmed. He looked up to him, attentive as Erik had come to know him. “Who taught you?”

“I taught myself.” Erik answered. “Reading books and watching videos of Garry Kasparov.”

“Oh, I like him.” David commented in an impressed tone.

They made it to Erik’s office, where he pulled a chair for David and set up the board. David placed the water bottle on the table with both hands, suddenly serious.

“Thank you.” He said. “Sorry about the panic attack.”

“You don’t have to apologize for that.” Erik said kindly, but firmly. “You never have to apologize for that to anyone. It happens. The important thing is that you feel better.”

David looked surprised for a moment, before a smile broke on his face.

“That’s what my dad says.”

 

**

Charles had never taken off so quickly after the end of a class, and he was slightly out of breath, even from just the length of the corridor, when he knocked lightly on Erik’s open door. He was at his computer, and David was scribbling in his notebook. He lit up when he saw Charles, and ran up to hug him. Charles laughed softly, kissing his hair, before he looked at Erik, who had turned to them with a small smile.

“How did it go?” Charles asked.

“Very well.” Erik answered. “Although I’m afraid you’re going to have to answer for something he said.”

Charles was instantly worried. “What did he say?”

“That you could – what was the phrase?” He exchanged an amused look with David. “Kick my butt, I think. At chess.”

“Oh God.” Charles put a hand over his face, mortified.

“Dad is just the best.” David stated calmly.

“You can’t say things like that to my professors.” Charles told his son.

“But it’s true.” The boy argued.

“I’m ready to forgive the offense.” Erik said playfully. “If you prove your worth.”

“Oh, is that so?” Charles smiled this time, challenged. “Alright, you’re on. Not today, we’ve got to run after my last class, but we can set this up.”

“I can be the referee!” David cheered.

“Sounds like a plan.” Erik got up. “Tomorrow lunchtime?”

“Perfect.” Charles said.

He found the sudden need to clear his throat and look down, but Erik was graceful enough to pretend he wasn’t noticing his blush.

 

After they went their separate ways, and as they settled on the benches for Charles’ last class of the day, David leaned towards him, tilting his face to try and look him in the eyes. Professor Essex was giving his lecture in a dull voice and paying about as much attention to his students as his students were paying to him, so it was easy to talk, in low voices so as not to disturb anyone trying to listen, or more likely to take a nap.

“Do you like Mr Lehnsherr?” David asked.

“Yes, of course.” Charles answered naturally. “He’s an excellent professor.”

“I mean _like_.” David stressed the word.

“Oh.” Charles had a small cough. “Why would you say that?”

“Because your eyes smile when you look at him.”

Charles stared at his son for a long moment. He was mildly worried that, if a child was able to see it, everyone could tell he had a crush on Erik; but then, nobody knew him as well as David did.

“Would that bother you if I liked him?” He decided to ask.

David frowned.

“No. Why? He’s nice.” He punctuated that by a firm nod. “You should date.”

“Oh, love.” Charles chuckled. “It’s not as simple as that.”

“Because of me?”

“No.” Charles said firmly, although a small, pernicious voice in his head always said _Who would want to date you and embarrass themselves with a child?_ “Absolutely not because of you, darling.”

“I can ask him for you.” David offered next.

Charles had to laugh again. “Thank you. But he’s my professor. I’m not even sure that’s allowed.”

“You’re both adults.” David argued.

“Still.” Charles said, and sighed. “I don’t even know why we’re having this conversation. He’s my professor.” He repeated. “He’s not interested in me like that, and it would be inappropriate.”

David looked extremely upset at that, and proceeded to sulk for the rest of the lecture.

 

 

The next day, it seemed like he had forgotten all about it, and Charles was the only one left feeling mildly uncomfortable when they met Erik in his office at lunchtime for the promised chess contest.

It was easy, however, to forget that David wanted him to ask Erik out, when the game was underway. Charles had never met his match before, and Erik proved an impressive opponent.

And he was indignant when Charles won.

“Winner!” David cried joyfully, grabbing Charles’ arm and lifting it with both hands in victory.

“Rematch.” Erik replied, still staring at the board as if he was trying to understand how it had happened.

Charles had a pleased laugh. “Not now.” He refused. “I have Shaw.” He winced briefly. “Moira’s taking David to her sculpture workshop.” His cleared his throat, self-conscious, trying to make his next suggestion sound as casual as possible. “Tonight after your class?”

On Fridays, Erik had a last lecture from 6 to 8pm – tough for everyone involved, but Erik had told his students at the beginning of the year he would hold it against them if they didn’t show to that one, and it helped him filter through the best elements.

“That works.” Erik smiled.

They looked at each other for a little too long, before David nudged Charles.

“Dad.” He took his most innocent voice, which of course made the latent awkwardness all the more obvious. “We have to go, I think.”

“Yes.” Charles sprung to his feet. “Yes we do.”

They took they leave, and as soon as they were out of earshot, Charles smacked David softly on the head.

“Don’t say a word.” He quipped.

 

**

Erik found himself really looking forward to playing chess with Charles again. In the past week, seeing him in the new light of fatherhood and interacting with him and David, he’d discovered a whole new side of his student. Not only did he have a brilliant mind and a quick wit, but he was considerate, kind-hearted, and the most selfless person Erik had ever met. He didn’t know what his history was – David had told him he’d be turning eight next month, which meant Charles had to have been _thirteen_ when he was born – but he sure was dealing with his situation in the best possible way and with incredible maturity. David seemed to have taken that from him, Erik thought again as the little boy was putting his notes and books away at the end of the class. He had taken a short nap around seven, head resting on his arms on the desk and Charles petting his heart at regular intervals, but he had otherwise been overall more attentive than some of the other students.

Erik was expecting Charles and David to come to his desk, and for the three of them to make for Erik’s office to play their return chess game, but he saw Charles take David’s hand instead, and head for the door.

A blond girl was waiting in the corridor – not one Erik had seen around the University before, as far as he could tell. Charles hugged her briefly, smiling, and handed her an overnight bag Erik hadn’t noticed he was carrying with him all day. She slung it over her shoulder and ruffled David’s hair – he seemed excited to see her. Erik couldn’t make out what they were saying, and wouldn’t have wanted to snoop anyway.

After a couple of minutes, she left with the boy, and Charles came back towards Erik – who had been distracted enough by the scene that he hadn’t entirely finished gathering his belongings.

“All set.” Charles smiled. “I don’t have David this weekend, I have… a lot of things to settle.” He shook his head, obviously not wanting to dwell on it. “Though for tonight, chess only. Oh, and I brought scotch. Just in case.”

Erik stopped himself from starting to examine how he felt about spending the night alone with Charles drinking over a chess board, and asked instead: “Was that David’s mother?”

She had seemed young, even younger than Charles, which was a little worrying, but maybe she was older than she looked.

“No.” Charles answered, cutting through his thoughts. “That was Raven, she’s my sister. She doesn’t babysit very often, but under the circumstances, she’s agreed to help.”

Once again Charles didn’t seem to be wanting to get into details, so Erik just filed the “circumstances” away with “things to settle” and “change in my personal situation”. It wasn’t his business.

“Anyway.” Charles smiled again, a little tense, but eager. “Ready to admit defeat again?”

“You wish.” Erik quipped back.

An hour later, Charles had won again by the skin of his teeth, and they were both passably drunk.

“How are you this good!” Erik growled in amiable frustration.

Charles cocked his head. “Well.” He said coyly. “I’ve got an IQ of 215.”

Erik blinked. “What?”

“It’s disputed.” Charles conceded. “Some people say IQ tests are unreliable and it can’t be measured.”

“But in the ways it _can_ be measured, you’re off the charts.” Erik pointed out, impressed. He frowned. “Not to put your ability into question, but don’t people like you get into college when they’re twelve or something?”

Charles looked down. “I got a girl pregnant when I was twelve.” He said quietly. “It sort of threw off any plans for early academic accomplishments.”

“Oh.” Erik both felt bad for having put his foot in it, and curious enough to have more questions on the tip of his tongue. “Sorry.”

Charles took another long sip of his drink, closed his eyes for a moment, and then looked at Erik again.

“Let’s say I would probably be a former child prodigy and already have a PhD now if I had not been screwed by the system.” He said. “But as it turns out, I was a foster child, and nobody ever paid enough attention to me to realize I was miles ahead of the rest of the kids.” He took a ragged breath. “I had a hard time with school, after David came, I… we, had to work to find enough money to…” He ran his fingers through his hair, discouraged. “I better start from the start.”

“You don’t have to.” Erik offered.

“No, I…” Charles hesitated. “I never actually told this to anyone. My friends here, they have no idea, they just think David was an accident. Some of them think it’s _kinky_. Anyway.” He steeled himself again. “My parents were actually really wealthy, but my father was involved in Hedge-Fund scandals and ended up in prison – my mother managed to have social services called on her by our maid when she became such a drunk she forgot to feed me. I was four.”

“And they sent you to the foster system.” Erik assumed.

“I didn’t have any other family.” Charles confirmed. “My mother never tried to get me back. I don’t even know if she’s still alive.” He shrugged. “I don’t remember much about her.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Erik said sincerely. He didn’t know how he would have turned out without his mother’s care.

“Yeah.” Charles managed to keep most of the bitterness out of his voice. “Anyway, what with my brainpower, I was a difficult child, so I was passed around a few times. Nobody wants a five year-old who calls them out on the faults in their reasoning.”

“So you’ve always been like that.” Erik tried to joke.

“At least now it’s appreciated.” Charles smiled feebly.

“Very much so.” Erik gave him an encouraging nod.

Charles shot him a grateful look, and continued. “I ended up with the Markos when I was nine. Kurt and his son Cain. He had this neighbour who pretended to be his wife for inspections, but in truth I never really knew what had happened to Cain’s mother.” He shrugged. “Kurt wasn’t too bad as long as I stayed out of his way. Cain was another story, but after a few months I knew how to bypass him most of the time. I got by for a few years.”

He paused, and Erik made a move to refill his glass, but Charles shook his head. Although the alcohol had probably loosened his tongue in the first place, he seemed dead sober now.

“Until I found out I was gay.” He said unexpectedly.

Erik had expected a girl to come into the picture now, if David was to be conceived. “You’re gay?” He couldn’t help but react.

“Well, I can’t say I’ve been seeing much action since David was born.” Charles answered. “But yes, I’m gay. And back then, I was very much taken with our neighbours’ son Oliver. He was a little older.” His jaw clenched. “Kurt saw us fooling around in the backyard. He was furious.”

Charles traced the rim of his glass with the tip of his finger, seemingly hesitating to top up now, but in the end he clasped his hands between his knees.

“His best response was to have the gay fucked out of me.” He said finally.

Erik looked at him in horror. “Are you saying he made you… You were twelve!” He raged out.

“Don’t I know it.” Charles sighed. “He got this girl from another foster home down the street, Gabrielle. She was sixteen.” He pursed his lips. “I think he was abusing her – I never knew for sure, she would never tell me. Anyhow he had enough power over her that she did what he told her to do. And she got pregnant.” He finished awkwardly.

He closed his eyes for a moment. Erik didn’t know what to say; he was torn between a feeling of disgust and rage towards that Kurt Marko character, and a swell of pride and affection for everything that Charles was, probably misplaced, that made him want to take the young man into his arms and hold him there for a while.

“How did you get out?” He asked instead, trying to slowly unclench his fists. “Since you’re here now.”

“Yes, so, that’s where I was.” Charles picked up. “Gabrielle’s foster family didn’t want to keep a pregnant teenager, so Kurt took her in. He actually made a deal with the two of us, that we could stay and keep the baby, as long as it didn’t cost him a dime. He covered us, with the money he got from the system, or part of it at least, but David was our responsibility. He was never ‘declared’, of course. Gabrielle had to wait until she was eighteen and she could get the fuck out to even have a birth certificated made.”

“So you worked?” Erik asked, wondering how two kids with a new-born could decently make a living.

“Took small jobs here and there.” Charles explained. “Tutoring, babysitting – Gabrielle actually opened a day-care centre of sorts, she had a friend who let her use a room in her house. That way she could have David and make some money at the same time. I did everything else my age allowed me to do.”

“That must have been really hard.” Erik said softly.

Charles shook his head softly.

“I loved David more than my life before he was even out. And Gabrielle, well.” He swallowed hard. “I think she never had high expectations for herself. Being a teenage mom was just one of the shitty outcomes she could see coming. She went along with it. Up to a point.” He shuddered, and put a hands over his eyes suddenly. “My head hurts.” He whispered. “I’d like to stop talking about this.”

“Of course.” Erik agreed immediately.

“I’m gonna go home.” Charles added quietly. “I had a nice time, I’m sorry for the depressing story.”

“Don’t apologize.” Erik told him, in an echo of what he’d told David. “Do you need me to drive you home?”

Charles shook his head. “You’ve had too much to drink to drive legally.” He declined. “It’s fine, I’ll call a cab.”

Erik waited with him until the car arrived, after making sure his number was saved in Charles’ phone.

“Call me if you need anything, okay?” He offered, unable to keep the slight worry out of his voice.

“Thank you, Erik.” Charles sounded genuinely grateful.

Only after the door had closed behind him and the taxi was driving away, did Erik realized Charles had called him by his first name for the first time. And that he didn’t feel indifferent to that.

 

 

Charles didn’t have a class with him until 3pm on Mondays, so Erik was surprised to find David waiting up for him in the corridor in front of his office when he got there in the morning. He was balled up against the wall, but he jumped to his feet when he spotted Erik.

“Have you seen my dad!?” He sprout out immediately.

“What?” Erik frowned.

“He went to burn my mom and he didn’t come back.” David continued.

“What?” Erik repeated, increasingly taken aback.

“Calm down, David.” Another person stepped in, and Erik finally noticed, and recognized, Charles’ sister, who came to stand by David’s side protectively. She looked sombre. “Charles didn’t come get David yesterday.” She explained, while the little boy was still looking at Erik like he would make Charles appear from behind his back. “I tried to call all afternoon, but he never picked up. David says he was with you Friday night?”

“Yes.” Erik confirmed. “We played chess, here in my office.” He pointed to the door. “But he went home.” He specified. “He took a cab.”

“We went there.” She said. “To his place. He didn’t answer the door either, so it seemed like he wasn’t there.” She breathed in and out. “Do you think it’s too early to report him missing?”

“No.” Erik assessed firmly. “Not if he didn’t come for something as important as picking up his son.”

Charles’ sister looked at him like she was surprised he understood the situation, and Charles, so well.

“I’ll make the call.” She said.

“Use the phone in my office, if you want.” Erik offered.

As they went in, and David dashed ahead into the room, Erik tried to whisper discretely to the young woman so David wouldn’t hear.

“What was that about burning his mother?” He asked.

“Charles was due to go to her funeral on Saturday.” She replied in a low voice, her eyes darker than ever. “Cremation. I called as well. He never showed.”

“Shit.” Erik breathed.                                             

“Yeah.” She pursed her lips. “Shit.”

She sat at Erik’s desk and picked up the phone. David got close to Erik and put in little hand in his – Erik could only squeeze it gently.

“Hello, this is Raven Darkholme.” Raven said on the phone. “I’d like to report my brother missing.”

Erik wondered briefly why she wasn’t Raven Xavier, but then he remembered Charles’ story. She was probably his foster sister.

The phone didn’t take long at all, and when Erik shot Raven a quizzical look, she sighed.

“They want me to come to the station in person.”

“I can come with you.” Erik proposed. “Or keep an eye on David.”

Raven winced. “I’m not sure.” She said. “I mean no offence, I know you’re Charles’ favourite professor and all, but I don’t know you, and I don’t really feel like letting my nephew out of my sight right now.”

“I understand.” Erik nodded.

“Besides…” She looked apologetic. “The police is probably going to want to talk to you. Since you’re the last person to have seen him as far as we know, apart from the cabbie.”

“And I will help them in every way I can. I’m sure Charles will turn up soon.” He tried to be reassuring, although he had absolutely no idea. As far as he knew him, Charles would never let David down for a second if he had a choice. This wasn’t like him, even if he had freaked out about the funeral of the mother of his child. Struck by a sudden thought, he almost asked how she’d died, but swallowed the words just in time. It was completely inappropriate to ask that in front of David, and even Raven must have other things in mind right now. He didn’t need to know.

“Thank you.” Raven held out her hand for Erik to shake, which he did. “I’ll let you know when we get news.”

“Anything I can do in the meantime, let me know.”

 

 

Erik did not spend a good day. He checked his phone on average every ten minutes or so, waiting for a message from Raven, or from Charles himself. He had texted him, digging up his number from the students records, but had received no answer.

Around 6pm, his phone rang, and he leapt on it like a leopard on an unsuspecting antelope.

“Hello?”

“Mr Lehnsherr? It’s Raven. I’m sorry for calling so late, I’m with Charles. Found him a few hours ago, but we had to go to the police to explain he wasn’t missing after all.”

“Oh thank God.” Erik breathed out. “Is he okay?”

“He’s okay, he had a bit of a rough weekend but he’s here now. Well, he’s in the next room making David dinner, but he’s home.” She paused. “The idiot threw his phone in the Thames.”

Erik stayed puzzled for a moment.

“He what?”

“Turns out his foster father called him Saturday morning, and he made him so angry he actually threw his phone. In the Thames. Seriously, I thought this shit only happened in movies.”

“What happened between Saturday morning and a few hours ago?” Erik frowned.

“Well, he was still going to go to the funeral in spite of bloody Marko, but in the end he couldn’t bring himself to it and found a pub instead. Next thing he knew it’s Sunday morning, he has a massive hungover and he’s in _Croydon_. Took him most of the day to get home with how the transports run on Sundays, it’s not like he has the money for two cabs in one week. Anyhow, he tried to call me last night, and then all morning while he was out trying to make his phone guarantee pay him back and knocking on my door as I was knocking on his – he had my old number, of course. Twat.” She finished in a sigh.

Erik thought to himself that she must really need to vent, or she had inexplicably warmed up to him over the course of the day.

“He doesn’t know I’m calling you.” Raven said suddenly. “I didn’t tell him we came to see you, I told David not to either. So he doesn’t know you were worrying.”

“Okay…” Erik hesitated.

“Look, I don’t know how you want to play this.” She continued. “Charles likes you, and not as a playful hot student-hot professor hook-up kind of thing. For real. I looked it up, and as long as it all happens between consensual adults and outside the boundaries of the University, you’re free to see each other. But.” Her tone became warning. “If you are not intending to take this further, if you’re not sure or whatever, you stay his professor, you hear me? You don’t show you cared, you try not helping out with David again, and you certainly stop playing chess after hours with a bottle of scotch. Yeah? No playful hook-up.”

“Uh.” Erik can only answer, startled, and stay silent for a moment. “I get the idea.” He composed himself eventually.

“Good.” Raven said conclusively.

“What if I want to take it further?”

“That’s for you and him to see, God!” She reacted. “This was just me giving you fair warning. He’s falling for you, and I don’t let anyone break my brother’s heart. You can still backpedal, but it’s a narrow window. Clear?”

“Crystal.” Erik answered.

 

 

He called Charles a little under four hours later, when he was pretty sure David would be in bed and Raven probably gone.

“Hello?” Charles picked up cheerfully, with a little uncertainty – new phone, Erik remembered. He didn’t know who was calling.

“This is Erik.” Erik said, deliberately using his first name.

“Oh, hi!” Charles sounded happy, then immediately panicked. “I’m so sorry I missed class today. I, uh, I was in a bit of a pickle this weekend, and…”

“I know.” Erik cut him off. “Your sister was here this morning with David.”

“What?” Charles sounded entirely destabilized. “Raven?”

“You were missing.” Erik pointed out.

“I wasn’t missing.” Charles denied. “I lost my phone.”

“Nobody knew where you were, I had seen you last on Friday night, and you didn’t pick up your _son_.” Erik said sharply. “You were missing.”

“But I…” Charles started, and sighed. “I don’t know why I’m arguing. Habit. I’m really sorry I missed your class.” He repeated.

He sounded exhausted, and Erik felt himself melt a little.

“It’s not about the class.” He said more softly. “I know you’ll catch up.”

Charles remained silent for a moment, and when he spoke, his voice seemed fragile. “Why does it sound like you’re mad at me, then?”

Backpedal. Erik thought. It’s now or never.

“Because I am.” Never. “Because I was scared today, Charles. I have known you for nine months, and I realized today that I care more about you than I have ever cared for anyone outside my family. Seeing you sitting in the front row of my class is the best part of my day. I wait to hear your voice, I wait to watch your eyes fire up when we argue. This week, the way you are with David… I have never felt more strongly about you.”

On the other end, Charles was completely silent apart from slightly heavy breathing.

“I went too far.” Erik said at once, cursing himself. “Charles, I am sorry, this was inappropriate, I…”

“No.” Charles half-laughed, half-sobbed. “God, Erik, I have had a crush on you since your Induction class.” He cleared his throat, maybe swallowing a lump in his throat, although Erik could tell for sure. “It’s a bit more than a crush too.” Charles confessed.

“So…” Erik hesitated, his throat suddenly dry himself. “Can I… ask you out?”

Charles almost whimpered. “God.” He huffed. “Erik, I have so much baggage, I became a dad when I was thirteen, I have never dated in my life…”

“Charles.” Erik interrupted. “At this point, the more you talk, the more I admire and fall for you. I’m afraid this is a lost cause.”

“I’m not in a good place right now.” Charles added weakly.

“And I respect that.” Erik answered, gentle. “We don’t have to rush into anything.”

“I do like you.” Charles almost whispered. “I just don’t know if I can do this.”

“You can do anything.” Erik asserted. “If it’s something you want.”

Charles took two slow breathes before speaking again. “Can I see you tomorrow morning? I’ll skip Shaw, and David is spending the day with a friend from school.”

“Of course.” Erik very readily agreed. “We should go to that café around the corner. It’ll be better than on campus.”

“Okay.” Charles breathed out. “Thank you.”

“Take care of yourself, Charles.” Erik said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

 

Charles got there a little late, and he looked like he hadn’t slept all night. He did manage a smile for Erik when he saw him, however.

“I did a lot of thinking.” He said point blank.

“Okay.” Erik said, half serious, half amused. “Good morning. Do you want to sit down and order coffee first?”

Charles blushed, which was honestly adorable, and nodded. “Of course. Sorry.”

After they were seated with their drinks, Charles kept silent for a while, hands around his cup of black coffee (Erik had taken him for an Earl Grey kind of guy, but that was probably the slightly posh accent). Erik eventually prompted him to speak again.

“So, you said you’d been thinking.”

“Yes.” Charles nodded, as if steeling himself. “I want to be honest with you, because I do like you, and if circumstances had been different we would probably be on our twelfth date right now.”

The slight blush did not seem to want to leave his cheeks, and Erik found himself staring with a hopeless flutter in his chest.

“But there’s David.” He said, sobering up.

“I’m sure you realized we’re a package deal.” Charles gave him a thin smile.

Erik put his hand over Charles’, half around the cup still, the warmth of both the hot drink and Charles’ skin radiating through his palm.

“I don’t see this as a problem.” Erik said. “I’m very much aware that you are a father, and I don’t plan on ignoring it. Besides, I like David.”

Charles smiled again, frayed at the edges. “I know you do. It’s not… It’s difficult for me to introduce someone new for David. Especially now that his mother just died. He’s going to get attached to you, and I don’t want this to happen if you’re going to leave suddenly.”

Erik frowned at him, a little confused, but Charles shook his head before he could speak.

“I’m not expressing myself properly.” He chastised himself. “I’m not saying we’re going to last forever, no-one can predict or promise that. But I need you to tell me you’ll do everything to make it work, for as long as possible, even more so than if mine was the only heart on the line. Otherwise I don’t want you in David’s life. And I’m not going to hide my relationship from my son, so you couldn’t be in mine either.”

Erik allowed himself a pause, before he answered carefully.

“That’s honest.” He said. “Thank you. I’m just… Of course I don’t plan for this relationship to crash and burn, not if I can help it. But David is almost eight years old. Surely he realizes people can break up?”

“She killed herself.” Charles blurted out.

“What?” Erik dropped.

“Gabrielle. She killed herself.” He pressed his free hand to his forehead, while the fingers still under Erik’s curled up slightly. “David was there. He was _there_ and she took a gun and bloody shot herself in the head.”

“Oh my god.” Erik breathed.

“Yeah.” Charles scoffed. “So, that’s us. We’re fucked up.”

“You’re not fucked up.” Erik tried to argue.

“Yes, we are.” Charles insisted softly. “But we mend.” He took another deep breath. “My point was, David is vulnerable, and he’s likely to imprint on you if you come into our little world. And I don’t want him to feel abandoned ever again.”

“We’ll take it slow and steady, then.” Erik said seriously. “We can avoid going to your place, this way we get us, you and me, on tracks before David gets too involved in the equation. Again, I’m not ignoring that you are a parent. But my presence in your son’s life does not have to be round the clock.” He leaned in, taking a conspiratorial tone. “And I do hope to get you alone some of the time.” He winked.

Charles stared at him for a moment, eyes growing darker.

“Erik?” He said eventually, very calmly.

“Yes?” Erik answered, feeling the tension nonetheless.

“How do you feel about public displays of affection? Because I very much want to kiss you now.”

Erik laughed, then got up to lean over the table. He cupped the back of Charles’ head and pressed a soft, chaste kiss just at the corner of his lips.

“Let’s save it for when I do get you alone.” He whispered.


End file.
